No More Pencils, No More Books

Well, Tuesday was the last day of summer school at South Pasadena High School. Not surprisingly, all of my students were a little out of control, but it was nothing that I couldn't handle. The class I was teaching was part of a course that is intended for students transitioning from middle school to high school. The course is divided up into three sections: English, Math and History. As you may recall, I was teaching the math portion of the course. (Never mind that I am going to be a history teacher…one goes where the work is.) Part of the challenge involved in teaching this course was that all of the students were not necessarily at the same level in math. Some of them were actually going to be taking Honors Geometry in the fall, while others had barely passed Pre-Algebra. The principal and I agreed that the best thing to do would be to teach to the middle ground.

So, that's what I did...teaching them such fascinating things as how to graph linear equations. We more or less spent the entire month working on stuff related to linear equations in some manner or other. I taught them graphing, showed them how to find the equation of lines for which you know two points, taught them how to find the points at which lines intersect, and so on. That's all pretty simple stuff, but I was amazed at how many times I had to explain the concepts of the y-intercept and slope. Some students would learn it one day, and then completely forget it the next. These, of course, were the slower students. It's funny...on some of their homework and stuff they would be asked to graph a line based on a given equation. Some of them would just randomly indicate points on the graph. In some cases, these points were in fact on the line, thereby earning them partial credit. In some cases, however, the points were nowhere near the line.

Most students seemed to at least partially master the concepts by the end of the course. The few who didn't were among those who probably wouldn't be taking Algebra in high school anyway. So, overall, I think my first teaching assignment was a successful one. There were many students who learned a bunch of stuff they hadn't known before...I guess that's the definition of success in teaching.

At any rate, I feel pretty good about the job I did there. The principal really seemed to like me, and the other teachers I was teaching with didn't complain. I should have been a little more strict as far as discipline goes...that was one of my weakest areas. Part of the problem is that I'm kind of a people-pleaser. I have a hard time forcing somebody to come in for detention or calling their parents or telling somebody that I don't want to go to their stupid birthday party.

So tonight I had dinner with Shane Ross, Ryan Cox, John Lin and this other guy named John Carlo (that's all his first name...I can't remember his last name) at some Mexican restaurant on Colorado Boulevard in Pasadena. I can't recall the name of the restaurant, but it is right next door to Cliff's Books...the used bookstore of which I am deathly afraid. After dinner we walked over to a little coffee shop called Zona Rosa, where we stayed for a few hours.

Wedding number one for the month of August is happening this Saturday, as my friends Steve and Carol will be joined together in holy matrimony. Fortunately, they opted to exchange vows locally. Which is more than I can say for Ashwin and Charis, who have decided to get married in Victoria, British Columbia. This is shaping up to be quite the expensive trip...perhaps more than I can afford at this point in time. Fortunately, my flight up there was free, thanks to my numerous frequent flier miles. If not for those, I probably would not have been able to go.

So, that's all for July. The month of August will be filled with exciting events such as: Not one, but TWO weddings, a trip to Canada, my ten year high school reunion, and a visit from my parents. Stay tuned.

What I Do on Saturday

I think it's been quite a while since I've written a late night post. There was that period of time when all my posts were being written at like 4:00 in the morning, but that was largely related to my school schedule. Most of my classes were at night, so I would get home from class and start doing work for school or other less productive things and then cry myself to sleep at about 5:00 in the morning, and then wake up sometime around noon and do it all again. Tonight I could probably sleep if I attempted to...of course, I'm a little skeptical about that, as I have just finished drinking a large Code Red from Taco Bell. It's possible that that might keep me up...although I'm not normally kept awake by caffeine unless I truly want to be.

Well, this is shaping up to be a busy weekend. I just got home from a graduation party in honor of Katie Pearson, who just completed her Masters at Azusa Pacific University. The party was a little strange. There were a lot of people I didn't know there, as well as a few people I did know, but hadn't seen for quite a while. Also, Molly and Stephanie, from the Kosovo trip, were there...as well as another member of the Kosovo team who shall remain nameless. If you know me well, you know of whom I speak.

At any rate, the party was fun, but most of the people there were really tired for some reason. I guess none of us are sleeping all that much lately...we're all so busy with our important lives and stuff.

Later today I will be heading down to Anaheim for the purpose of attending an Anaheim Angels game. (As a side note, I almost wrote California Angels. I think I prefer them as the California Angels. However, since I'm a Dodgers fan, I don't really care all that much.) So, why is a Dodgers fan going to an Angels game? Well, the entire outing is part of a daylong bachelor party for a friend of mine from college, Ashwin Ramji, who is getting married on August 10. For those of you keeping track of such things, his wedding is the reason that I will be going to Victoria, BC, from August 6-11. After the game,we'll be having dinner down in Orange County, and then that will probably be the end of festivities. It's not going to be a typical raging bachelor party like some of you are probably thinking.

Anyway...the other day, I went to Vons to do some grocery shopping. It occured to me while I was placing my items on the conveyor belt that the casual observer might assume that I have children at home, as I was purchasing such items as Cap'n Crunch and that Incredible Hulk chocolate syrup that makes your milk turn green when it gets angry. The sad truth is that I do not, in fact, have children; those items were purchased for my own use. Although I imagine that once I do have children I'll have to buy them healthy stuff. I guess I could continue to buy myself Cap'n Crunch and eat it in my bedroom so they can't see it and get all jealous because I get to eat it and they don't. Whiny little brats.

Steve Is NOT Dead

I recently discovered the website of Steve Burns, former host of the children's television show, Blue's Clues. It seems that ol' Steve did not actually die of a drug overdose or cancer, as many an internet rumor has posited over the last few years. Quite to the contrary, he is very much alive. And he has embarked on a career as a musical artist. When I first saw this site, I sort of laughed derisively...certain that his efforts as a musician would be as laughable as those of former Party of Five star Jennifer Love Hewitt or former adult film star Traci Lords.

I must admit, however, that I was pleasantly surprised. He has all of the songs from his soon-to-be-released album Songs for Dustmites available on his website, and the majority of them are quite good. I particularly enjoyed the songs "What I Do on Saturday" and "Mighty Little Man." One thing I noticed while browsing his site is that he doesn't make the desperate attempt to completely distance himself from his Blue's Clues days. In other words, there's no feeble effort to rework his image or anything like that. A lot of people in his position would probably try to completely reinvent themselves...disavowing everything to do with their work on a children's show. Anyway, suffice it to say that I am really impressed with what I've heard.

Well, my friends from the Shoah Foundation have managed to secure tickets to the Radiohead concert in September. The tickets were purchased through the KROQ online presale. My friend Angelica Ochoa has assured me that at least one of her tickets is reserved for me...so it looks like I'll be going to see Radiohead at The Hollywood Bowl on September 26. She also told me that she attempted to get some better seats when they went onsale to the general public today...however, both shows sold out in less than one minute. So, it looks like I'll be enjoying the concert from the N-section, unless we can somehow get a hold of better seats. N isn't that bad...it's not comparable to my garden box seats for REM on September 10...but it's not as bad as sitting in the W section.

No matter...I'm just excited to be able to finally go see Radiohead. The past two times they have played in Los Angeles, I have been completely unable to get tickets, in spite of all my best efforts. I honestly don't believe in paying $400 to see a concert...and that's what people tend to sell their extra Radiohead tickets for after the show is sold out.

I've never really had much luck getting decent tickets for concerts. I managed to get these REM tickets by being a fan club member. They give their fan club members first choice of seats at all their shows. I think Pearl Jam does the same thing. Back in 2001, I managed to get floor tickets for U2 at The Pond in Anaheim. That was more dumb luck that anything else. I had attempted to purchase tickets when they first went on sale...however, they sold out in like 2 minutes. I eventually just gave up.

About three hours later, however, I decided to log on to see if there were any tickets still available for their San Diego show. When I signed on, I noticed that another Anaheim show had been added and that the tickets were scheduled to go on sale at exactly that minute. I pressed the button and was told that I had successfully reserved two floor tickets. I was pretty happy about that.

Anyway...I've been pretty active lately as far as my social activities are concerned. I've been seeing far too many movies, eating out far too often. I need to remember that my current job will end on July 29...then I'm back to starving student status. I'm going to try to make it through this semester without procuring another student loan. I have already paid the tuition and everything, so we'll see what happens.

I have to go to Canada in a couple weeks. (I won't be anywhere near you, Sabrina...I'm going to Victoria, BC.) A couple of friends of mine are getting married there. I'm not sure why they decided to get married in Canada, considering that they both live in Alhambra. But, so be it. Fortunately, I was able to get a free flight there using frequent flier miles. That's good, because if I hadn't been able to do that, I probably wouldn't have been able to afford to go.

But, I digress. As I said, I have been going to far too many movies and eating out far too often. Last week, I ate out for lunch twice, dinner three times and breakfast once. I've also gone to see The Hulk, Terminator 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean. Tonight I went and had dinner at The Black Cow Cafe, here in Montrose, with my friend Amanda Chase because she wanted to see my impressive pictures from Kosovo and all that.

I guess one can only take so much frugal living. Every once in a while, one has to throw caution to the wind and eat something other than spaghetti or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

I Will Fight No More Forever

It's kind of odd how one can occasionally need to take a break from writing in one's weblog. It's not that it's really a particularly difficult task, or even that it really takes all that much effort...it's just that sometimes it's hard to make yourself sit down and write something. I imagine that many of you are anxiously awaiting stories of my first experience in the classroom. I'm not sure what to tell you other than that it has been an altogether frustrating experience. It hasn't been discouraging or anything...just frustrating.

The thing is, I firmly believe that students can detect the scent of "new, inexperienced teacher" and thereby behave accordingly. My situation is further complicated by the fact that for the first week of class, they had three substitute teachers. When I arrived, I really didn't have time to lay down a discipline plan. It's kind of a unique situation. I'm dealing with remedial students, teaching a subject that they don't want to take, and I haven't yet gotten the hang of doling out discipline. If anything, this is really good experience for me, and it will make all future classes seem perfect.

There was one shining moment yesterday when a student who had been pretty much clueless about the stuff we've been doing (graphing linear equations) suddenly learned figured out how to do it and was able to graph any equation I gave her. That was the highlight of my week.

Tomorrow I have to figure out how to deal with a group bullying incident that took place today. I talked to the kid who was the target of it after class today and he told me it's been going on since summer school started...and, in fact, it's been going on since last year when they were in junior high school. I'm trying to think of the best way to handle it.

The funny thing is that, when I was in seventh, eighth and ninth grade, I was a bit of a bully myself...tormenting those lower than me on the pecking order in order to relate to those higher than me on the pecking order. Of course, I was also picked on, in turn. I was far from being at the top of the pecking order, so I got as much as I gave. I was a scrawny little thing and attempted to make up for that by tormenting those who would take it. The fact is that any one of the kids I tormented could have easily beat me to a pulp. But, for some reason, they never did.

Anyway, I'm trying to think about what a teacher could have said to me at that point in order to make me stop. So far, I'm not coming up with anything.

From my now adult mindset, I'm looking at the whole thing and not quite understanding the mentality behind it all. I mean, what pleasure can possibly be derived from driving another kid to tears. I guess at the time it was a power thing...and a desire to be accepted by others.

I remember in ninth grade I drove this poor kid to the point of tears. In a fit of rage he attempted to attack me. He swung at me and missed. The substitute saw him swing at me and busted him for that, without even trying to figure out if I deserved it...which I most certainly did. The point is that seeing this kid get in trouble for something that was really my fault was the turning point when I decided that my bullying days were over.

It's odd how I just kind of realized that on my own. I think that seeing his fists of fury fly toward me made me realize that I lacked the brute strength necessary to back up my actions. It occurred to me that one day I could very well be viciously pounded into the ground and never be able to walk again.

Burning Up on Reentry

I have returned to Los Angeles only to be greeted with furnace-like weather that was quite different from the mild temperatures and rain that we experienced in Frankfurt...yet quite similar to the scorching temperatures we encountered in Kosovo. The similarity more or less ends there, however. Needless to say, Los Angeles and Kosovo are a world apart, both literally and metaphorically speaking.

I've spent the last few days sort of mulling over the time I spent there. It was a little strange to have to shift gears between cultures so rapidly. This was probably made more difficult by the fact that, the day after I returned home, I had to report to South Pasadena High School and begin teaching a summer school class.

I haven't had much time alone since I've been home...well, not enough anyway. Thursday, I had to go start teaching, and on Friday I was whisked off to a few different 4th of July BBQ's, and forced to engage in small talk with people I'll never see again...which is one of the things I hate the most. As a strong introvert, I need to be by myself in order to reflect and recharge. Yesterday was my first real chance to do just that.

Reentry is a sort of buzz word used for returning Peace Corps volunteers, exchange students, short-term mission trippers and the like. To a lesser extent, it can be used to refer to people who are returning from traveling abroad, although not always in the same sense. When you travel, you don't necessarily experience a culture in the same way. Staying in a hotel or a youth hostel is quite different than living among people and working side by side with them in order to complete a project. You eat what they eat, you sleep how they sleep...you experience a little bit of what their daily lives are like. Again, this is vastly different than coming into a city, staying in a hostel for a few days, seeing all the sights, then moving on to the next city.

To be sure, Kosovo is not really an ideal tourist destination. It's easy to see how it could someday be just that. The landscape is among the most beautiful I have ever seen. The air is crisp and clean, and the thick blanket of smog which covers everything here in Los Angeles is noticeably absent. The forests in Kosovo are protected by strict anti-logging laws; it is a crime to cut down even one tree. The result is that the landscape is kept lush and green.

While in Kosovo, I stayed in a flat with four other members of the team: Bryan, Scott and Kevin from California, and Tim from Minnesota. The flat was a quaint little place that lacked both hot water and water pressure. The last couple days of the trip, our apartment had no water at all. Consequently, I had to join the locals in their trek down the street to fill up a few buckets with water in order to flush the toilets.

It's a little humbling, the manner in which these people seem to look up to Americans. They seem to think we are the best at everything, and take great pride in beating us at silly little things like arm wrestling matches and basketball games. Nearly every child I saw while there wanted to shake my hand, give me a high five, challenge me to a basketball game or practice their limited English. Often, this consisted of little more than a poorly pronounced, "What's your name?" or an excited, "Hello!"

Almost anytime I stopped by a store in order to purchase something to drink, I was met by somebody who insisted on making my purchase for me. I always felt a little bad about letting them do it but, since it is considered rude to refuse anything that is offered to you in that culture, I accepted. Again, it was humbling that so many of them wanted to do this.

The celebrity status with which Americans are treated in Kosovo seems to me to be a little undeserved. Many of the people there seem to have the impression that all of America is concerned with what happened there. The sad truth is, however, that I think the majority of us are completely unaware of the war and the ethnic cleansing that took place there. The conflict that took place there in the 1990s was largely ignored by American media and I doubt many Americans could even point out Kosovo on a map. Before I went there two years ago, I'd say that I was included in that category. I didn't really know anything about the place, and I didn't really care.

Since my first trip there in 2001, I have made a conscious effort to be more aware of what is going on in other parts of the world. I have seen the effects of war and ethnic cleansing first hand. It's an odd feeling to walk through the streets of a city and pass by buildings that have been completely destroyed by bombs.

It's strange to look up at the green forests and hillsides and realize that a few years ago, they had been swarming with guerilla troops and refugees. It's strange to think that many of those hills which look so inviting are actually peppered with landmines and unsafe to explore.

Religion in Kosovo serves as more of a cultural backdrop than anything else. The dominant religion is Islam...yet there are very few practicing Muslims there. One could say that everybody in Kosovo is Muslim in the same sense that everybody in Italy is Roman Catholic. It's a part of their culture, not necessarily part of their daily lives. Daily prayers are chanted over the loudspeaker from the local mosques, but nobody really seems to pay any attention to it...similar in many ways to the ringing of church bells in Western Europe.

While we went into Kosovo as part of a Christian organization, we did not go in there in order to convert anybody. Kosovars have a strong distrust of outsiders who come into their society with ulterior motives...for hundreds of years, they have been forced to convert from one faith to another. We don't preach to them, we don't attempt to evangelize them. If we did this, we would most likely no longer be welcome there.

I've often likened evangelism to being the Christian equivalent of an Amway sales pitch. Somebody you've never met before (and whom you will most likely never see again unless you join his or her organization) strikes up a conversation and pretends to be interested in what you have to say or in what is going on in your life. Really, however, their only goal is to get you to join their organization...be it Amway or the local church. It simply doesn't work.

Having been there twice, it was really interesting to note the changes that had occurred there between 2001 and 2003. Perhaps the most notable change was in the people themselves. There seems to be more of a hope for the future... more of a sense of optimism. Young people who never saw much opportunity for themselves are now planning on attending college, getting involved in dating relationships and leaving their traumatic pasts behind them. What is particularly admirable is the commitment that many of them have to stay where they are. I asked many of them if they had any desire to immigrate to another country, such as Germany or the United States. For the most part, they expressed a desire to remain in Kosovo and help improve their country. Naturally, there was the occasional exception to this rule.

I realize this entry has been somewhat piecemeal, but it is more just a collection of thoughts about my experiences as opposed to a comprehensive narrative. I'm not sure that I could do justice to my experiences there with a written description. As I said, visiting such a place is not the same as visiting France or Switzerland. A trip to a war-torn Third World nation is physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausting. And it's not always easy to put those experiences into words.