Well...I've suspected it for quite a few years now, but now I have proof. My life is a goddamn fucking sit-com, and the writers love to put me in horrible situations.

Not only that, but there are Cosmic Forces in this Universe that have been conspiring for decades to make my life suck, and they threw me yet another curve ball today.

You might be wondering what all this ranting is about. Well...to start off with, I received a call from the appraiser who, without a hint of regret in his voice, and no doubt with a bit of schadenfreude to boot, called to inform me that my poor poor car was totalled and could not be repaired. That's not the worst part, though.

Picture in your mind, if you will, that on perhaps the very same day that I was in my accident, a letter was printed and mailed from a Volkswagen Corporate Office in New Jersey. This letter then makes it's way across this great nation of ours, from sea to shining sea, to come to rest in my mailbox here in Montrose.

So, on the same day that I receive the bad news from my insurance company, I come home to my dinky little apartment and open my mailbox. Therein, I find this letter from Volkswagen. I open the letter and, to my utter shock and dismay, I discover that demand for my particular vehicle is so high, that VW was offering to buy it back from me, at an inflated cost, and that they would offer me a discount on a 2002 VW vehicle of my choice.

What the fuck?