Yesterday I had lunch with a friend of mine from work, Lisa Davies. Soon she'll be Lisa Waldapfel, on account of she's getting married on July 27. At any rate, she was telling me about how she and her fiancé got together and so on. She mentioned that she had sort of been seeing this other guy who didn't call her for about a month, and during that interim she ended up dating her fiancé. (Did you follow that?) Anyway...she said something about how, in some alternative universe, she's probably marrying this other guy next Saturday. That got me thinking about all the things that Alternate Universe Matts are doing with their lives...like the Bizarro Matts. Some are no doubt better off than I am, and some no doubt have it much worse. So, here is a breakdown of what I assume many of my parallel universe counterparts to be doing, based on the notion that a single action or choice be me or any number of other people could have drastically altered my life.

There's Alternate Universe Matt whose parents decided to move to Tampa, Florida, in 1987. This Matt most likely went to Florida State University and majored in English Lit. and is currently living in Miami.

There's Alternate Universe Matt who went to Fresno State and is currently teaching at Clovis West High School.

There's Alternate Universe Matt who went to UNC Chapel Hill and is living somewhere in the south doing God knows what.

There's Alternate Universe Matt who is working as the Director of Marketing for Firestone Tires in Las Vegas, Nevada.

There's Alternate Universe Matt who is married to Kim Price and is probably working for her mom as a technical writer.

There's Alternate Universe Matt who is working as an Imagery Analyst for the Central Intelligence Agency and is living in suburban D.C.

There's Alternate Universe Matt who is serving in The Peace Corps in some remote village in Africa.

There's Alternate Universe Matt who is working for the advertising company, Goodby, Silverstien and Partners and is living in San Francisco.

There's Alternate Universe Matt who married Robyn McElliot and is working as a truck bedliner installer in Vista, CA.

There's Alternate Universe Matt who is working as a lowly paid archive intern at the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C.

There's Alternate Universe Matt who works some crappy job at UCLA, has no car, no clear direction in life and is desperately pining after a girl who is thousands of miles away in some remote corner of the world. Oh wait...