Mr. President? I'm kind of in a hurry...

Bill Clinton was late, as usual. Normally, I didn't care. Because, normally, his chronic tardiness had no effect on my life. Sure, he was known for rarely starting press conferences on time and rarely showing up on time for his State of the Union Address...but, on the whole, that never bothered me. This day, however, it was different. This day, Bill Clinton's tardiness was putting my future on hold.

As I sat there in the hot June sun waiting for him to arrive, I took a moment to reflect on the four years that had just passed. I glanced at the faces of those around me, many of whom I would most likely never see again. I glanced up at the roof of the building behind the stage, straining my eyes for a glimps of the snipers who were sitting up there, poised to shoot at any moment. Then, I glanced at my robes. To this day, I can't remember if those robes were dark blue or navy blue or black or whatever. But, damn, they were stifling hot. The heat was intense and it was only about 10:30 in the morning.

It was 10:30, and I was sitting there among thousands of students...waiting anxiously for the leader of the free world to arrive so that we could begin our uncertain futures. Again, I glanced at the faces of those around me and began to wonder what was in store for us. Some of them would find success. Some of them would be met with disappointment, never truly satisfied with where life had taken them. And then there was me.

At that moment, I had a vision of sorts...call it an epiphany, if you want...I don't care what you call it. I pictured each graduate approaching the stage, being given his or her diploma and then being directed toward a pair of escalators. Toward the up escalator went the students who would lead a successful life. To the down elevator went the students who would be met with continual disappointment. And then there was me.

As I approached the dais, I stared nervously at the escalators, wondering to which one I would be directed. I was handed my diploma and proceeded toward the escalators, only to find that neither of them were functioning. I glanced quizzically at the Chancellor, who pointed off to his left. I followed his gesture and there I discovered a people mover. It didn't go up. It didn't go down. It just went...and kept going straight and level as far as the eye could see. Never rising, never falling. Just straight, carrying me inexorably onward toward some as yet unknown baggage claim.

I was brought back to reality by the sudden announcement that the President of the United States had arrived. I glanced at my watch and saw that it was now 10:55. Bill Clinton was almost an hour late. The rest of us had been there on time. In fact, all graduates had been required to arrive at 7:30 in the morning so that the Secret Service could make sure none of us were armed. But, I guess when you're the leader of the free world you can arrive when you darn well please.

One would think that a graduation speech by the President of the United States would be moving and inspiring; I'm sure that, to some people, it was. I honestly don't remember a word he said. I'm sure it contained the usual inspirational jargon about how we were the future of this country with a touch of hey-we'd-better-do-the-best-we-can-to-preserve-democracy statements thrown in there for good measure. But, to be honest, I wasn't listening. I looked at those around me again. Some of the graduates were enraptured, hanging on his every word. Some wore disapproving scowls at his statements regarding such things as affirmative action. And then there was me.

Sitting there in the hot sun, more interested in the crowd than the man on stage. Off in the distance, I saw a man dressed up as Abraham Lincoln, holding a sign that proclaimed "Room for rent." I was not surprised to learn later that my dad had gotten his picture taken with this man. In retrospect, I guess I should be grateful that my graduation had taken place before the impeachment trial...there's no telling in what sort of tomfoolery the conservative citizens of San Diego might have engaged at that point.

He spoke for almost an hour, much to my discomfiture. Don't get me wrong...it was an honor to have the President of the United States as the keynote speaker at my graduation. But, as it was, I'd been out in the hot sun since 7:30 that morning. If he'd been on time, the ceremony would have been over by now. As it was, my future was being delayed.

I just wanted the ceremony to be over. I wanted to go celebrate with all my friends who had come to see me graduate. I wanted to go out to dinner with my family and my girlfriend and everybody else who happened to be there. I wanted to get started with my life, but he just kept talking. First he'd been late, and now he wouldn't stop talking. Didn't he realize I had a people mover to catch?