Stop the Shenanigans

Like most residents of the Golden State, I, for one, am tired of hearing about the recall. I'm tired of Gray Davis, I'm tired of Arnold Schwarzenegger, I'm tired of Cruz Bustamante and you can damn well believe that I am sick and tired of Arianna Huffington. I'm not normally an advocate of violence but, my God, somebody needs to bitch-slap that woman.

I'm hoping that it will all be over come Tuesday. Whether the recall passes or not. Whether Schwarzenegger, Bustamante or even Gary Coleman becomes our next governor...I don't much care. Just let it go away. It has been the leading story on every news broadcast and in every newspaper since July.

I have this fear, however, that it will not go away after the election. No doubt, there will be some type of court battle similar to the 2000 election in Florida and then we'll have to hear about it for several more months. It will drag on and on and on, just as it has been doing thus far.

I hope I'm wrong. I hope that, when Wednesday comes, the matter will be settled. Then Davis or Schwarzenegger or even Larry Flynt can just get on with running the state into the ground.

I should have thrown my hat into the ring. Seriously...I should have launched a campaign for governor. I'm sure that everybody who reads this would have voted for me, and that you would have encouraged all your friends to do so as well.

I had plenty of time on my hands toward the end of the summer. I could have spent that time getting my name out there. Expressing my view on all the important issues. Then people all over would be asking me my opinion about illegal immigration, Propositions 187 and 227, gay marriage, worker's compensation and the tripling of the car tax.

I'd be making appearances on Fox News, CNN, Good Morning America...maybe I could even get on Letterman or Leno. Then my affable personality and lack of a controversial past would be enough to carry me all the way to Sacramento where I could spend my days fixing the state's problems.

Yesterday Shane Ross, Ryan and I went to the little local Oktoberfest celebration that was held two blocks from my house. We were also joined by another friend of theirs whose name escapes me at the moment. Naturally, it paled in comparison to the real Oktoberfest that Shane and I attended last year. There were no huge tents filled with 10,000 or more people. And there was also no German beer there at all. They had Budweiser...but I'd sooner drink dishwater filtered through my dirty socks. The only beer they had that was even slightly decent was the Widmer Oktoberfest brew that was imported all the way from Oregon. It was actually pretty good.

The bratwurst and sauerkraut were fairly decent, but nowhere near the quality of the fine Bavarian vittles I enjoyed last year.

Tomorrow is Yom Kippur. Actually, technically, it began at sundown on Saturday. That means that all of my observant Jewish friends are in the midst of fasting and will not be able to eat until sundown tomorrow. Kennedy High School is closed in honor of the holiday, so I don't have to report there tomorrow. I still have to attend class at CSUN, though. I have a paper due tomorrow that I was planning on working on today. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, though, as laziness overtook me. Instead, I spent the day reading, watching Young Guns and playing Grand Theft Auto III. The paper isn't due until 4:00 tomorrow, and it's only a three page deal, so it shouldn't be too difficult to pound it out in the morning.

On Wednesday, I have to present my first lesson to my class at Kennedy. I'm covering the topic of gerrymandering. For those of you who either failed or can't recall your U.S. Government class from high school, gerrymandering is the practice of creatively reorganizing Congressional districts in order to give greater leverage to a particular constituency. It'd be nice if I could just say exactly that and have my students understand it...but that isn't likely.

Anybody who has any ideas as to how to get that point across to a group of twelfth graders, please feel free to leave a comment.