A Year in the Life

In honor of the New Year, I would like to take a moment to reflect on the year that was.

January- The New Year begins quietly for our hero, at a somewhat anti-climactic New Year's Eve gathering at the home of Ryan Yingst in Vista. The evening consists of a few half-hearted games of Scattergories and the like, and ends with an even more half-hearted ringing in of the New Year. As the clock strikes midnight, he determinedly decides that he will not spend this entire year as a single man. He spends the next week or so house-sitting for his brother in Irvine and, while there makes time to attend the now-annual holiday dinner him with his college friends from days of yore. He returns home to Montrose on January 7 and spends the next few weeks getting prepared for his return to school and the beginning of his credential program at CSUN. During this time, he attends a party at the home of Nathan Lundblad, thus shattering the mystique surrounding the man who, until that point, had been known only as "The High School Me." The semester begins, without incident, on January 27. At first he is anxious, but soon learns that his classes are quite simple and consists of little more than busywork and jumping through one hoop after another.

February- Our hero spends this month completing the numerous assignments involved in the credential and becoming increasingly agitated with the other students in his classes who have been cursed with unfortunate names such as Assbreath and Guy With Long Hair and a Bad Dye Job Who Takes Himself too Seriously. This month also sees our hero attending the first of many weddings that he will be forced to endure this year, as he travels to San Diego on February 8 for the wedding of his ex-girlfriend's younger sister. It is during this month that he bravely acquires a new computer to assist him with his school work, and to play games and stuff. The end of this finds him enjoying a night on the town with Shane Ross and Ryan Cox at the Bigfoot Lodge. While there, Shane provokes the ire of a group of Ramones fans by questioning the quality of their music as compared to Weezer. In turn, our hero wonders silently about whether either of these two bands are as good as their fans profess.

March- This month is filled to the rim with excitement for our protagonist. It is during this month that many of his so-called friends begin to take it upon themselves to criticize the length of his hair, as if his physical appearance is any of their damn business, thank you very much. As an act of resistance against their busybody attitudes, he decides not to cut his hair again until he's good and ready. During the month of March, he also travels to Philadelphia for training related to his upcoming trip to Kosovo. While there, he takes time to explore the city, visits Independence Hall, The Liberty Bell and walks all over in search of the perfect Cheesesteak sandwich. Soon after his return, he attends a birthday party held in his honor at The Brass Monkey, a Karaoke bar which, despite the recent opining of a naysayer or two, is a fine establishment. On his birthday, he is forced to make his way to the Department of Motor Vehicles in Glendale in order to renew his license, as the powers that be have decided that he must appear in person. Fortunately, he has the foresight to make an appointment and is able to complete the transaction in record time rather than waiting in line for hours. As this month draws to a close, he is forced to face his greatest fear, as his car is engulfed in a swarm of bees while he is sitting in traffic on his way to Pasadena. Fortunately, his windows are closed and the bees can do him no harm.

April- This month opens with him dining at a French restaurant in Echo Park, where he consumes the hindquarter of a rabbit and makes a valiant effort not to picture the rabbit as one of the beloved characters from the novel Watership Down, which he has recently finished reading. a few days later, he goes to Disneyland with an old friend of his who adores rabbits and horrifies her with tales of his recent meal. He spends the day at Disneyland in the company of two former park employees who have VIP passes. Consequently, he is able to skip to the front of all the lines and does everything there is to do at both parks in less than 8 hours. Towards the end of the month, he spends an entire weekend with other members of the Kosovo team at a beach house in Coronado. After leaving Coronado, he stops in Fallbrook to visit with his friends Adam and Alicia Young. He ends up spending the night there and then attending a somewhat odd Easter service the next day. The last weekend of the month is filled with excitement. On Friday he, Shane Ross, Ryan Cox and Commie Seth decide to crash a party that is happening in Pasadena. Upon arriving at the party, they soon realize that it is incredibly lame. Our brave hero and Shane head to the grocery store in order to purchase more alcohol for the party. While they are gone, Ryan and Commie Seth decide to ditch them. Our hero and Shane spend the rest of the night wandering the city of Los Angeles, ending the evening with a late night of mocking the transvestites at Canter's Deli on Fairfax Avenue. The next day, he attends yet another wedding in Huntington Beach. This is an Asian wedding, and the reception includes a bountiful feast of all sorts of odd foods.

May- The month of May is a busy one. Most of his time this month is taken up with finishing school projects and preparing to leave for Kosovo. He spends many long hours in front of his computer, finishing up a project that he has had fifteen weeks to complete. He manages to finish the project two hours before it is due and receives an A in the course. In addition to this project, he also has numerous other papers to write, and deftly manages to complete all his work on time. It is also during this month that he makes his first (and thus far only appearance) as a stand up comedian at a fundraising dinner for Kosovo. The crowd is greatly amused and he wonders if there might be something to this "comedy". During this month, he also agrees to housesit for some friends of his in West Los Angeles. Soon after they return, however, they discover his weblog and mistakenly assume that he hates house-sitting for them. He manages to clear up the misunderstanding, but not before they have already found an alternative house sitter. Our hero laments the public nature of blogs and vows to be more careful about the stories that he posts. Not surprisingly, he attends yet another wedding this month; this time, it is the wedding of an old college friend in San Juan Capistrano. He wears his best suit and keeps a close watch to make certain no sparrows crap on his shoulders.

June- June finds our hero in the midst of chaos as he receives his first substitute assignment in South Pasadena. He spends a day vainly trying to keep a roomful of Kindergartners under control and returns home with a headache that lingers for days. A few days later, he substitutes for a fourth grade class, which he finds much easier. As a result of the excellent job he did substituting for these classes, he is offered a position teaching summer school at South Pasadena High School. Unfortunately, this offer conflicts with his trip to Kosovo and he deftly makes arrangements with the school district to begin working when he returns. This month also sees a new addition to his family, as his brother's wife gives birth to a girl on June 10 who is christened Emelia. Eight days later, our hero boards a plane and spends the next ten days doing physical labor in the war-torn region of Kosovo.

July- As July begins, we find ourselves in the German city of Frankfurt am Main, recovering from the physically draining ten days spent in Kosovo. He spends a day wandering the city with members of the Kosovo team. He is particularly embarrassed by the blatant cultural insensitivity of one of his friends, but deals with his irritation valiantly. While in Germany, he takes a day to travel to Heidelberg in order to visit a close friend who has recently had a baby. He spends the day there, then returns to Frankfurt and prepares himself for the return flight to Los Angeles. On the return flight, he is forced to sit next to somebody he does not want to sit next to and spends the entire flight either listening to headphones or walking around the plane. He hopes that this is not one of those things which he will later wish he had been more careful about including in his blog. The day after returning home, he reports to South Pasadena High School and watches in horror as his inept substitute provides the class with incorrect information related to the rounding of numbers. He spends the rest of July trying to master the art of classroom discipline and trying to get the students to understand the concept of linear equations.

August- The month of August provides him with a grim reminder of his consistent status as a single guy as he attends not one but two weddings. The first wedding is a local one, held in Pasadena. For the second wedding, however, our hero must bravely travel to the great white north, making his was to the fabled city of Victoria, BC. While there, he visits the home of Professor Charles Xavier, faces pods of Orcas on a rainy, windswept ocean and enjoys many a bountiful feast at various dining establishments around the city. Towards the end of this month, he bravely attends his high school reunion in San Diego and spends the evening reveling with people who, ten years ago, wouldn't give him the time of day. A few days later, he begins his second semester of the credential program and anxiously awaits news regarding his placement as a student teacher.

September- This month, he faces bitter disappointment and anxiety as the student teaching placement that he really wants fails to materialize. He worries as day after day goes by and he sits and home waiting for news of his assignment. During this time, he attends an REM concert at the Hollywood Bowl and travels to the city of Fresno to celebrate his paternal grandmother's 90th birthday. After returning from Fresno, he receives a call saying that he has been given a teaching assignment, and rushes out that day to make the arrangements. He spends the remainder of the month observing various classes at Kennedy High School and writing many papers for his classes. Toward the end of the month, he attends yet another concert at the Hollywood Bowl, as he accompanies his friend Angelica Ochoa to see Radiohead.

October- This month is entirely uneventful for our hero, as he virtually drops off the face of the Earth as far as his social life is concerned. He is kept so busy with school and student teaching that he barely has any time to meet with his friends. While he is absorbed in this school work, the State of California descends into madness. Arnold Schwarzenegger is elected governor, practically the entire state is set on fire, and the grocery clerks all decide that they should continue to receive high wages and benefits in spite of the fact that they have a job that requires no education and no skills. He is sick for most of this month, but is unable to take a day to rest, as he has numerous projects and other such things to worry about. He does manage to take time to attend a local Oktoberfest celebration, go out to a fine German restaurant with Shane Ross and John Lin and, at the end of the month, briefly attend a Halloween party at the home of Ryan Cox.

November- Yet another stress-filled month that allows our hero very little time for socializing. On November 10, he officially takes over his class at Kennedy High School, and continually struggles with exactly how to make the subject of Government interesting to a group of seniors who couldn't really give a shit. As of yet, he has not succeeded at this. He does manage to set aside two weekends for fun and games. One weekend, he attends a rather hip shindig at the home of John Antolos in Manhattan Beach. For the Thanksgiving holiday, he travels to his hometown of Fallbrook in order to enjoy dinner with his sister-in-law's family. He feels oddly out of place at this gathering, but still manages to enjoy himself. While in the Fallbrook area, he travels over to Vista in order to see Shane and Erika, whom he has not seen since they left for Europe. Also this month, he decides that he needs to get a part time job and, with the help of a friend, finds work at a Trader Joe's in Pasadena. This provides him with even less time for socializing and he all but disappears off of the social radar. He spends his days teaching and his nights focusing on making the world a better place one grocery bag at a time.

December- Yet another year in the life of our hero draws to a close. He spends this month working, teaching and finishing up his coursework for the semester. His stress level is reduced when he takes his last final exam on December 10. That week, however, he is scheduled to work six days in a row, in addition to teaching everyday. On December 15, he virtually collapses from not having had a single day to himself in almost five weeks. He calls in sick to school and to work and spends almost the entire day sleeping. On December 19, the high school goes on winter break and he spends the next several days working. He does all of his Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve and then drives down to Fallbrook to once again attend somebody else's holiday. While there. he wistfully wonders when he will have his own holiday traditions. The day after Christmas his thirty-two year old brother manages to break his arm riding a skateboard. Consequently, a greater part of the day is spent at the emergency room. That evening, he visits with various friends around the area, including a gathering of himself, Shane Bonham and Nathan Lundblad. Contrary to popular scientific theories, this meeting fails to unravel the very fabric of time and space. All three of them are slightly disappointed at this revelation. A few days later, he spends a joyous New Year's Eve at the home of Shane Ross. At 11:30, he, Shane and Giancarlo head out to Colorado Blvd. to join in the festivities. The streets are filled with people camping out. For a brief moment, he wonders if maybe the homeless problem has drastically increased since Schwarzenegger took office, but later realizes they are all simply waiting to watch the parade the next morning. As midnight approaches, he looks around, hoping to find the girl of his dreams so he can kiss her. Finding no one, he determinedly decides that he will not spend the entire next year as a single man.