Look Away, I'm Hideous!

I got a haircut on Monday. Initially, I was somewhat pleased with the haircut. I mean, my hair has never really been anything to write home about- it's mostly just a utilitarian mass of dead cells. It doesn't style well, it's dry, curly, has an awkward natural part and is generally unmanageable. Consequently, I've never really been concerned with how it looks. I gave up caring about that sometime in the fourth grade.

However, there are some things that can be managed. Sideburns, for example, should be kept even. Which is why I was suddenly so distraught while brushing my teeth this evening. I glanced in the mirror and, much to my horror, noticed that the stylist from the Armenian Supercuts near my house had left one sideburn while completely removing the other. I hadn't even noticed until tonight. For the last four days I've been walking around with only one sideburn, most likely receiving odd looks from passersby.

Students at my school were no doubt pointing at me and giggling, as the entire student body mocked the new student teacher with a single sideburn.

As I ate lunch with Angelica Ochoa this afternoon, she no doubt was gazing at my sideburns in horror, wanting the meal to come to a quick end so that she could be free from the abomination of my uneven haircut.

When I noticed, I was undecided about what to do at first. I thought about just leaving it, and maybe people would think I had joined some cool secret society that requires its members to keep one sideburn. I'm fairly certain that's one of the trademarks of the Illuminati. But, after much thought, I decided to attempt to even them out. They're not perfect...but it is much better than it was before.

So, I have finished my second week at Roosevelt Middle School. So far it's going ok. I must say that I am pleasantly surprised by the junior highers. I'm not saying that I would want to teach them, but they really are not as bad as I thought they would be. In fact, compared to my seniors from last semester, they are quite eager to participate in class. Whereas getting seniors to say anything at all was as difficult as pulling teeth, eighth graders are more than happy to volunteer answers, even if they are wrong. Any time I ask a question, there's at least six hands raised. And, of course, there's always those girls who are so eager to answer the question that they are practically standing up in their chair.

Well, I found out this week that my former girlfriend Kim Price is now engaged. She called me last Sunday to let me know. It's a little strange. Overall, I'm quite happy for her. From what I can tell her fiance is a decent guy. Whereas six years ago I would have been weeping, gnashing my teeth, tearing my clothes and covering my head with ashes over the fact that she wasn't marrying me, now I just wish her all the best. I'm even being invited to the wedding. Now I just need to decide if I should find a really hot date or go solo and try to hook up with one of her bridesmaids.

These are the decisions that try men's souls.