Technobabble

On a couple of different occasions, I have used this weblog as a forum through which to lambast the proliferation of cell phones in our society. Many of my friends have long been frustrated by the fact that I do not own a cell phone and, as of yet, have refused to bend on this matter. I simply can think of no reason why I should have one. If somebody calls my house and I'm not there, that means I'm already doing something and, consequently, I cannot join you in whatever activities you have planned. I do realize that, from time to time, this has made me miss out on certain events and spontaneous gatherings. But, in all honesty, I'm fine with that.

As far as I'm concerned, cell phones contribute to the general rudeness of society. Having to listen to one side of a conversation in public places (often at increased volumes) is quite irritating. I'm entirely willing to admit that I am the idiosyncratic one in this regard, but I remain staunchly opposed to this technology.

The only place where one can find true solace from these public nuisances these days is on airplanes- because they can somehow cause the pilot to accidentally crash into Mount Everest while making his final descent into Toledo, Ohio. Not too long ago, however, I read somewhere that this ban might be lifted. God save us all if it is. If they lift the ban on in-air cell phone use, they better also be prepared to lift the ban on in-air ass kickings because that is what I will end up doing if I ever have to listen to some tool yap into his cell phone for a six hour flight.

Luckily for me, however, I now have a means of isolating myself from the rest of society. Recently, I purchased an iPod. I realize, of course, that I am slightly late in jumping on this bandwagon but my status as a starving student for the last two years has prevented me from being able to procure one. Thanks to finishing first in a recent NCAA bracket pool, however, I was awarded with a $189 cash prize. Coupled with a $100 Best Buy gift card left over from last Christmas, I was able to purchase a modest 20 GB iPod. After adamantly defying all of the sleazy sales rep's attempts to saddle me with some form of extended warranty, I only had to kick in $42 of my own.

Let me tell you- the iPod (or, any MP3 player, for that matter) is every introvert's dream. No longer will I have to drag a bunch of CDs with me on planes in order to avoid talking to annoying old ladies flying places to see their grandkids or overzealous Christians attempting to introduce me to Jebus. Now, I simply have to bring this little device and I will have thousands of songs to shield me from having to talk to the Fat Sweaty Guy Taking Up Half My Seat.

So, this Saturday while I am flying to the Big Island of Hawaii, I won't have to worry about pretending to read or fumbling with CDs. Just one push of a button can protect me from boring conversation with boring people. Unless, of course, I'm sitting next to a hot girl. Then I'll spend the flight trying to think of charming things to say...which will no doubt result in her turning on her own iPod.